my boyfriend's mom treats him like her husband

It sounds like OP is already trying to change this guy and she isnt really dating him. Meanwhile, she merely had to state what she needed and her husband would have Husband Lets His Family Disrespect Me My jaw dropped and I got the hibbi jibbies at the whole younger siblings calling him daddy. No one should have to feel not valued by someone they love if your spouse treats you like If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. I think at that age people should be independent anyway, if you live rent free at your parents place I dont see as a big wrongdoing from them to except services and help around the house. And I guarantee the brothers don't call him "daddy" in the way OP would like people to think. that could be your future if you stay in this relationship. Overall your boyfriend sounds like a good guy who was raised by a good mother who likely does the best she can with four mouths to house and feed. I dont know. Sure he will. I just wanted more quality conversations. I saw one of my sisters as more of a mom figure than my own mom and she felt I was her responsibility. He should look at the lists of narcissistic traits and tactics on the internet. You are both still so young. Try to avoid using words such as should, have to, or must. What a Man's Relationship With His Mother Tells You - AskMen In any case, you and he are very young, It is perfectly valid to say, "You're a nice guy but this relationship isn't right for me." I wonder if mom allows it because he is a "father figure" to them. Yeah I think so. Him for not letting his mom actually do the parenting that she is supposed to do because it's her responsibility in the end. Yes, this is about his relationship with his mom. Phil | 10K views, 106 likes, 4 loves, 8 comments, 4 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from DrPhil Show 2023: Dr.Phil Show 2023 - Exes at War We went to the same college after HS. Mom can't take care of him forever. Mentioned above, she tends to come to his own house unannounced, she'll do his laundry, clean the whole house, drop by She texts my mom I second this. The fact his siblings call him daddy is creepy as fuck. My bf made plans with his friends that night, so he asked for a ride back to college. Its a tough decision, but it likely wont get better. Taking care of younger siblings is a very normal thing when there's that big of an age difference as well (however you may feel about that pressure). Your Husband Chooses His Family Over Five years ago I wrote letter to my high school self, and ne" JJ Heller on Instagram: "Graduation season is almost upon us! 1. He needs constant reassurance from his mother. Meanwhile, his dad and him tried to help her and she refused to speak to them. You all are a couple. Small gestures of love do not imply that your husband chose his mom over you. You may not be able to get him to establish firmer boundaries, but you can firm up your own. Tina Fey You've only been dating a few months, most if not all of which has been virtually, So, presumably, you've never actually met his mother or siblings face to face, or engaged with them in any meaningful way, His father is out of the picture, and he has two young siblings, His mother works full time (and from your description, potentially runs her own business), She asks him to go grocery shopping and run other errands a couple of times per week, His brothers see him, a man roughly twice the oldest's age, as an authority figure in the house, and ask him for permission to do things that they know they need permission for from an adult in the house, He told you that he wants to move out, but due to the current situation feels he can't (whether that's due to financial reasons, concerns about the logistics of moving during a pandemic, or because he wants to help his mom through this tough time). Its all so inappropriate to me but he says its just his life. Only invest what you want. Hes still quite young so theres time for him to realise. He's probably not gonna change. In your heart you have to do what is best for you. Google "parentification" and send him some links he might respond to. Do you want this to be your life? Frankly I can't tell if he's way to attached to his mother and you're 100% justified, or if you're a selfish girl who is jealous of his reasonable time and attention to his family, The answer is likely somewhere in between. RELATED: 15 Definitive Signs You're With A Good Man (As Written By One). He is the first person to help anyone else out in the family, which is lovely, but he also tends to talk behind people's backs, complaining about his duty while at the same time feeling like he must be dutiful. This is emotional incest. Especially in a situation like he is. May 1, 2023, 8:04 pm, by So this might be solvable, or it might not. I will say that it's also not fair to him that you are getting mad at him for not giving full attention when he's at home. Is this normal? Robot Astrologer People can surprise you, is all. Because OP seems to think it is, I question her version of events.

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